Smash: A Reality Show
by Meowzika
Summary: We're back! I've decided to continue this series, because I thought people would like it. So please, review to continue. Rated T for language and sexual innuendo
1. The Surprising Challenge

Pit

As I grabbed my bags and walked out the door to the limo, I was excited to be on a reality show. Besides, having a shot at 100,000 coins wasn't bad either. I stepped inside the machine, and was confronted by a cameraman with a clipboard. "Hey, I'm Jim. Um, I was hired to give a short interview with you." The cameraman said.

I looked at him and politely accepted the interview. And to say the least, it was a short interview. He asked me why I was here and if I was going to win. The rest of the ride there was just Jim and I talking up a storm.

When we finally got there, I stepped out the car to see a giant white mansion with the Smash logo above it. I was speechless; this place was a monstrosity!

As I walked in, I saw other contenders inside, too. Link, of which I was a good friend with, along with Marth, Ike, Ness, and Lucario. I smiled as I sat down. The five of us just had a brief chat until the rest of the contenders got here. I smiled as all of them got in, trying to be the polite one in the situation.

As the 24 of us mingled, we heard a voice come over the intercom and say, "Please proceed outside of the mansion."

I looked at everyone with a confused look, but went outside anyway. As I walked out, I saw a large inflatable slide in the "courtyard" of the mansion. There was a man with cat ears and paws standing in front of the slide. "Hello contenders. I am your host, Meowzika, and since you signed up for this, you all have the chance to win 100,000 gold coins. But first, you have to beat everyone in multiple challenges. But before you can pick your enemies, you must know your friends."

I looked at the man/cat, and had the thought of snuggling with it. But pushed it aside as I listened to the host. "Now, for this first challenge, you will take one Mr. Saturn and proceed to the top of the slide. Then, while going down the slide, you will throw your Mr. Saturn as far as you can. If you make it to the bottom of the slide before you throw it, your throw won't count."

"The two people who throw it the farthest will get a huge advantage: You'll get to pick the teams." Meowzika said.

Everyone, including me, reacted to what Meowzika just said. I had to win this; there was no way that anyone would stand in my way.

Meowzika looked out across the contenders and pointed at Mr. Game & Watch. "Alright, sir, you're up first."


	2. Team Captains

Link

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><p>As Mr. Game &amp; Watch grabbed his Mr. Saturn, I turned to Pit and asked, "So, who you hoping to be on a team with?"<p>

Pit turned to me as Mr. Game & Watch went down the slide and threw is Mr. Saturn about 5 feet away from the slide and said, "Well, I want to be on your team, and maybe even Lucario's team, he seems to pack a punch."

Peach got up on the slide and threw the Mr. Saturn only 2 feet away from the slide. She looked so upset when she got off the slide, but I was laughing to myself the entire time. She looked so funny when she was upset. Ness threw it about 4 feet, then Zelda threw hers about 6 feet, then Ike threw his 7 feet.

Then it was my turn. "Wish me luck…" I said to Pit as I grabbed a Mr. Saturn and went up the slide. I looked down at everyone and saw Zelda wink at me. I gave her a thumbs-up and went down the slide, throwing the Mr. Saturn when I was midway down it. I looked as the Mr. Saturn went through the air, and landed on the eight-foot mark.

I jumped off of the slide happy, and proceeded over to the other side where the contestants who already went were. Pit was up next, and I wished him good luck silently under my breath. Pit looked nervous, and it showed when he went down the slide, for he didn't even throw the Mr. Saturn.

Pit looked so pissed off as he got off the slide. I went over there to comfort him, but to no result. As Pikachu went down the slide, Pit calmed down a little bit to see that Pikachu didn't throw it either.

Then Samus was up next. As she went down the slide, Snake was smiling like a perverted bulldog ready to rape your leg at any second. But he didn't spoil anything, because Samus threw her Mr. Saturn at a whopping 14 feet.

As she got off the slide, Samus turned to Snake and gave him the bird, and walked to the other side. She looked so elegant, and her body so slim. Pit was looking at her as she walked off, and I told him to look at the slide, not the hind.

After Snake went, Lucario, Luigi, Marth, Kirby, Yoshi, and Diddy Kong went, Samus and Ike were the team captains.

Meowzika looked around at the teams. Fourteen people stood on one side of the slide, and the team captains stood on the other. "Okay, contestants. Look at your team captains. One or the other will pick you on their team, so you must be aware of it. Teams will be picked tomorrow, so talk to your team captains and persuade them to be picked on your team. Oh yeah, and also, fight for your rooms, too. You can bunk in any of the eight rooms you want to. Each room will have two beds. You do not have to bunk with someone on the same team. Samus, Ike, pick your teammates wisely. Your second challenge will be tomorrow, and someone will be eliminated. Good luck, and happy bunking."

After Meowzika's painfully long speech, I walked up to Pit and asked if we could bunk together. He didn't seem to mind, but he looked at Samus wistfully as if having thoughts about her. I walked into my room, Pit behind me, and I started to unpack my bags.

Now it's time to play kiss-up.


	3. Kissing Up

Samus

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><p>I began to unpack my bags as I saw Ike walk in out of the corner out of my. "Well, hello, Ms. Team Captain" Ike said with a sly tongue. He looked smaller without his big cape and such. All he had on was a gray tank top and blue jeans (and it looked fitting, to say the least).<p>

I continued to unpack as Ike came closer to me. I turned to him and he had his eyes closed as if he were trying to kiss me. Why would he want that? We've only known each other for, like, what? Ten minutes? Instead of answering the question, I raised my hand up and slapped the kid as hard as I could.

Ike retaliated by jumping back and opening his eyes like he were awaken by a bullet. He didn't say a word, though. All he did was straighten up his tank top, and headed out the door. "Finally…peace…" I said to myself. But the peace didn't last.

Marth, Ike's brother, walked in to the room and placed his suitcase on the other bed. I gave him a look of disgust as he began to unpack. "What are you doing here? Can't you bunk with Ike?"

"Nope, he's already bunkin' with Peach." He said, taking out some deodorant and put it on. He tossed the can to the side and took more of his clothes out before finally laying down on the bed.

I looked away from and continued to unpack. I must have packed about a thousand articles of clothing, but I finally was done. And, now, I finally expected peace to come.

A few minutes later, Marth began to snore. I was gracious to hear the sound, until I saw Link walk into the door. "Yes?" I asked him.

Link gave me a puzzled look and finally said, "Listen, Pit doesn't have the balls to tell you that he really wants to be on your team. He sent me to tell you, since he couldn't do it himself." Link looked like he was finished until he said, "Oh yeah, and can you put me and Zelda on the same team if you can?"

I looked at him and said, "I'll try." With that, Link walked off in celebratory fashion.

Why would Pit want to be on my team so badly? I mean, there was no possible explanation to it, but maybe he just thought I did well. But if that was the reason, why didn't he tell me that to my face, and send Link to do it for him?

It seemed like all the questions had an answer she couldn't accept. She didn't want to accept it, but she did it anyway.

Pit had a crush on her.

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><p>Link<p>

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><p>As I walked back to my room, Mr. Game &amp; Watch stopped me on the way with a sticky note on his hand that read: <em>Yo dos Sam gwtt big tiddyz?<em>

I looked at Mr. Game & Watch disgusted. He seemed to be the biggest pervert here, and I didn't even want to talk to him, so I just ignored him and continued to walk on. Mr. Game & Watch followed me, though, and put a sticky note on my back and ran off. I angrily pulled it off of my back and read: _OK I m gon pt mai sauzag in er and layd so hrd._

I crumbled the paper up and walked on to my room as I say Pit lying down on his bed with his arm over his eyes. He looked mad. "Dude, what's wrong? I talked to Samus for you." I said trying to cheer him up.

Pit looked over to him and said, "I should've done it myself…" Pit rolled over then and didn't talk to him for a long while.

Link opened his mouth, but a bell for supper rang, so he ran downstairs to see what was in store for tonight.

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><p><strong>Sorry about not posting a chapter in a while. I was busy with the Survivors (btw, favorite that for me!) and school work. So, this series isn't dead yet, so hold your horses and don't get your g-string in a wad. The next chapter will be up soon.<strong>


	4. Dessert for Disaster

Link

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><p>As I walked down the stairs, I looked at around at the other contenders for this show, and who was the best or worst. Lucas and Diddy Kong seemed to be the weakest links here, but who knows who could be the best or who could be the worst.<p>

Link saw a long dining room table, with 16 chairs set up around it. There was one chair on the short ends of the table, and seven chairs were set up on each side of the long sides of the table. All of them were labeled with a gold plaque that had their name on it.

"Welcome to the Dinner Table…" Meowzika said, looking at the 16 contestants. "Now, to let you in on a secret, you're not only going to eat dinner here. You're also going to talk about the day and use a Tabletop Challenge. To do a Tabletop Challenge, you're team must have won the challenge that day, and the team must agree on the two people to give the Tabletop Challenge to. Then, someone must be nominated to do the Tabletop Challenge. The Tabletop Challenge will be given in the form of a head-on-head battle. If the team who issued the challenge wins, the person nominated for elimination will be put up for it. If the team who issued the challenge loses, then the nominees are safe."

"Oh yeah, and also, up above us is a wall that will have the names of the contestants that have left will be nailed up to that wall." Meowzika said, pointing up to a blank wall with the title "YOU SUCK!" above it. "Enjoy your dinner…"

The floor opened up from beneath him and he vanished. Then, as if by magic, the table pops up with food. There were French fries, onion rings, buckets of cold slaw, collared greens, macaroni & cheese, Buffalo wings, and, course, a large pile of cheeseburgers in the center of the table, served on a silver platter.

I sat down in his assigned seat next to Peach and…sadly…Mr. Game & Watch. I tried to ignore him, but Mr. Game & Watch put a sticky note on my lap that read: _Yo lok at dem. Dey soooooo byg, I cn hs sqeze?_

I just gave him a dirty look and really wanted to switch seats with him. Or, he could be eliminated tomorrow. That was his plan.

* * *

><p>Samus<p>

* * *

><p>I grabbed a few pieces of food and scanned the table. Since I was the team captain, I was conveniently placed at the end of the table. Of course, Ike was on the other end, being the douchiest of douches.<p>

I tried to ignore him, and examine the choices for teammates I had. Let's see…I need to get Pit, Link, and Zelda…Five more selections…Lucario would be a good teammate, I mean, he had a good arm in the first challenge. They needed a good arm on the team…Let's see, who else…?

"Hey Samus!" Ike yelled from across the room. "Thanks for the discount! I must say your 'product' was worth it!"

I looked up and stared at Ike absentmindedly. Rage churned through my veins like a nun churns butter. _Don't start anything…it's the first day…_

Ike laughed and gave a knuckle bump to Snake and Marth. Marth didn't seem to enjoy it, though. He had an uncomfortable look on his face, almost looking like he hated what his brother had said to his roommate. "I must say, though, I don't think it was good enough!"

And after that, the room went silent. But the silence wasn't long, but it wasn't short, either; it was that perfect silence of which it was short but you could still process that the silence was there. The calm before the storm. And I was about to erupt. "Okay, Ike…you wanna play that game? Fine…your dick is about the size of a dime. You have the manliness of Peach, and you're breath smells like Diddy Kong took a shit in your mouth. Now if you excuse me, I am going to bed…"

And with that, I put my napkin down, pushed my chair in, and walked up to my room, everyone engrossed in what just happened. Ike stared off into the distance, and the whole room erupted into conversation about what had just happened. I was pleased at with I just spawned.

That night, while Marth was brushing his teeth, ready to go to bed, I looked at Marth, and noticed he was staring at me through the reflection of the mirror. What was he thinking about? Oh my God, is he a pervert and staring at my chest? I quickly covered up my breast with a blanket on the floor, but noticed he was staring at me. _That's not it…_I thought to myself. As Marth spat into the sink, he walked out and sat on the bed. Bringing a copy of The Lord of the Flies. He put some reading glasses on, and began reading from the middle of the book.

"There's something I don't get about you." I said to him. Marth didn't even bother to stop reading the book, but he asked, "What is it?"

I looked over to him and said, "Well, you're brother is all douchey to everyone, but, yet, you're all nice to people and shy about everything else. What gives?" Marth folded the corner of his book and took of his glasses. "Well, it's all about friend selection. While Ike decided to hang out with a bunch of preppies, I decided to hang out the nerds I call my friends. And when you are a nerd, you kind of learn how not be so douchey…you know?"

I looked over to him and smiled, "Okay, I get it now…" Before Marth got back to his book, he stared over at Samus and said, "By the way…did you and Ike have sex?"

This was the one moment in my life I tried to hold back a slap. Marth seemed so helpless, and the back of my hand wouldn't help his situation anyways. So I blatantly said no. Marth then began to go back to his reading, and I looked at this man, curious of what he had in store.

* * *

><p>Link<p>

* * *

><p>"Okay…so explain this to me again, word for word…" I asked him, wanting the story of his crush for Samus completely.<p>

"Well…" Pit began, "It was a long time ago, way back when. I was in a tournament and I had to face Bowser. I was scared toothless, but I tried hard anyway. It wasn't until I got badly scorched that I was out. When I was rushed out of there, Samus was there trying to help me along the way. When I woke up, she was there, gave me a kiss, and I've had a crush on her since."

I looked at Pit and smiled. "Listen, I'll do anything to let you have her. Good luck, okay?" Pit smiled and said, "Good luck with Zelda, okay?"

I smiled to him, and fell asleep. That night, I dreamt about me and Zelda together watching a sunset, and right when I was going to kiss her, Pit woke me up. I yelled as Pit said, "Get up, we're picking teams today!"


	5. The Selection of Teammates

**Yes! It's back! I've decided to bring back an old thread from the dead, because I thought about making a full comeback to fanfiction. Ive started a ToD thread, and brought back the Survivors. But I'll only continue if this gets good reviews. Because why write something no one will read? That's like selling horse turds to the public...what's that...it turns out I have to get a new simile, because basically, there's a new placed called "McDonald's", and...just read the story!**

**~Meowzika**

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><p>Samus<p>

* * *

><p>I stared at the 14 people in front of me. They all seemed to be nervous, but yet, so anxious. I didn't know where to start, but I knew my priorities: Pit, Link, Zelda, and Marth. But who knows how this'll work out.<p>

"Welcome. Today we are picking the teams, then the hard stuff can begin." Meowzika explained, introduing the viewers.

Mr. Game & Watch feverishly began writing on a sticky note, when Meowzika said, "And, Mr. Game & Watch, if you write 'That's what she said', you will be replaced."

Mr. Game & Watch stopped writing, and looked up. Meowzika smiled and continued on, "Now, since Samus threw her Mr. Saturn farther, she gets to pick first, so go on ahead."

I looked around at everyone, and tried to think whom she could pick first. She could make Ike beg by picking Marth. Or she could be nice and pick Pit. Or, pick Link and Zelda. But, she decided to make Ike pay.

"Marth." I said, smiling and crossing my arms. Ike turned to me and whispered, "That's not nice, Samus, considering we slept together and everything."

I ignored him, even though I wanted to make sure he'd never have sex, ever. Marth walked over, and stood by my left side, considering I was standing on the left and Ike on the right.

"Alright, you wanna play that game, then?" Ike asked, angered. "I pick Pit."

I couldn't believe it. Ike took Pit, one of the only people I had a history with. Long story short, I did better than him during business, and while I continued to thrive, he was only able to once.

"Link." I said, sighing in disbelief.

"Snake" Ike selected

"Zelda"

"Peach"

"Diddy Kong"

"Ness"

"Lucario"

"Luigi"

"Mario"

"Mr. Game & Watch"

"Kirby"

"Yoshi"

"Well, since the teams are picked, you all can head on out. Because tomorrow, there will be a real challenge tomorrow. Enjoy yourselves!" Meowzika said, walking over to the lake and sipping up some of the water.

* * *

><p>Pit<p>

* * *

><p>I walked up to the mansion with Mr. Game &amp; Watch. Why did Ike care about picking me? I didn't even throw the Mr. Saturn, and yet, he still picked me. Everyone else did better than me. Did Ike pick me because he picked Marth?<p>

And another thing, why was Marth Samus' first pick? We went all the back to 1989, and she just tossed me to Ike? Did something happen between the two last night?

I almost became enraged at her, but I couldn't, because I still thought she was the most beautiful fighter here. She had finesse when she fought, and fought aesthetically, and fought like she cared. And I would fight for her, to make sure she would stay on this show no matter what!

* * *

><p>Mr. Game &amp; Watch<p>

* * *

><p>Dam, look at dem titys!<p> 


End file.
